Your Personal Bias May Harm the People You Love

A Personal Bias Can Affect Decision Making

“Good afternoon, thanks for coming,” I said as I gestured for Dr. Brown, a parent of one of my students, to step inside my classroom.

“Good afternoon Ms. Dacres, thanks for reaching out to me”, she replied as she made her way in.

Dr. Brown was a tall and stately-looking lady. She was immaculately dressed in a blue suit with red earrings that matched her red shoes. Even though she is a doctor, it is clear that she also possessed an exquisite sense of fashion with her vibrant and stylish outfit.

“Give me a second Dr. Brown. Let me find a place for us to sit.” I requested.

The students had only recently left for the day and so I quickly rearranged two desks and chairs for us to sit.

“Thanks for coming, Dr. Brown”, I repeated. “Sit right here.”

I settled into the metal chair beside her with my grade book in hand. With a concerned voice, I began to share my worries about her daughter Mary.

“Look at these grades, Dr. Brown. Mary got 45%, 50%, and 46% on the last three tests. We must find a way to help her otherwise she will start thinking she’s a failure and that’s not true.”

She looked intently at the neatly printed grades on the paper. A frown appears at the corners of her mouth, and I can’t help but notice the undeniable signs of disappointment.

She looked across at me and I see the pain in her eyes.

“Ms. Dacres, I make sure Mary has all that she needs to do well in school. I take on more caseload so that I can have additional money so that she lacks for nothing. I am a single mom, and her dad does nothing for her.”

She continued, “Ms. Dacres, do you know when I called her father and asked him to help with her school fees — he had the nerve to tell me that he had no money! No money? Now, let me tell you what I said to that man. I told him to…”

“Dr. Brown, Dr. Brown”, I tried to calm her down. The more she spoke, the more agitated she became.

I was glad that I had not invited Mary to this meeting. She did not need to hear all of this.

I had to steer the conversation back to Mary and the matter at hand.

In a gentle voice, I said, “That must be very difficult for you Dr. Brown but what will we do about Mary?”

At the mention of Mary, Dr. Brown is jolted back to the present moment.

“Mary is a smart girl, Ms. Dacres.I know she is.She can do this.I’m going to take away all her electronic devices.When I was attending this same school, did you know that my GPA was always above 3.5 plus I was on almost every sports team?”she stated.

“I didn’t know that Dr. Brown, but I’m not surprised. You seem like a go-getter from the day you were born.”

“Now, I have a plan that might work for Mary,” I continued. “But it involves you, Dr. Brown.”

“Me?” She asked in surprise.

“Yes, you,” I responded confidently. “Mary does not know her valences. If she doesn’t learn them, she will have trouble writing formulas. As you know, much of Chemistry involves writing formulas.”

“Here’s what I want you to do,” I continued. “Mary will give you the list with all the ions and their valences that she needs to learn. Between the two of you, make several copies and place them all over the house. Your job is to test her on them every day. For example, when you say sulfate, she should say SO₄²⁻. Can you do this?”

“Of course, Ms. Dacres. I got this. I had to learn valences back in my days when I was doing Chemistry.”

“That’s awesome Dr. Brown. When you are positive Mary has learned the valences, let me know and I will give her a short oral quiz to verify. We will then move on to the next stage.” I explained to her.

I could see a change in Dr. Brown. Her eyes sparkled with delight, and her whole demeanor exuded enthusiasm on hearing this proposal. But I had more to say to her.

“Guess what happened today, Dr. Brown? Mary sang the national anthem at the morning assembly, and she was AMAZING!”

“We were all spellbound by the sheer beauty of her performance,” I said excitedly.

I examined her expression to see if I could find the same excitement that I was feeling. I held my breath in anticipation of her response, but she remained nonchalant, completely unaffected by what she was hearing.

“Mary is an excellent singer”, Dr. Brown explained in a clinical manner as if talking to one of her patients. “She sings all the time at church. She can also play the saxophone. Only last Sunday she sang and played the saxophone at our church concert, and she received a standing ovation” she mentioned in a matter-of-fact tone.

She reached for her phone and started scrolling through to find the evidence to show me. Since it was taking her some time to find the pictures and videos, I asked her to forward them to me once she has found them.

It was now or never, so I dived right into my next question for her.

“Dr. Brown, have you ever considered the possibility that Mary might have a career in music?”

“Music, Ms. Dacres?Of course not!Mary wants to be a doctor.Just like me.That’s why she must do well in Chemistry and the other science subjects,” she responded firmly.

Taken aback by her words, I started to lose my courage to continue.After all, the pressing issue with Chemistry was resolved and I was venturing into what did not concern me.

Still, I pressed forward. I could hear Mary’s voice singing the sweetest melodies in my head and it was urging me on.

“Dr. Brown, when did Mary say she wanted to be a doctor?” I asked.

“Ms. Dacres, Mary has said she wanted to be a doctor since she was a child.”

It was clear that Dr. Brown was getting annoyed with my line of questioning. But I soldiered on.

“But sometimes children change their minds when they get older Dr. Brown. Mary is so musically gifted and talented. Could Mary do music as a career? Think about it.”

“Music?No ma’am.Mary cannot do music”She was adamant and resolute.She sat up even straighter in that metal chair.“That’s what her father does.He is a musician.No, Mary cannot do music.She cannot be like him.”

I wanted to say more but Dr. Brown stands signaling that our conversation has ended.

I stood up as well.

Dr. Brown looks directly at me. I saw the finality in her eyes.

“Thanks for reaching out again Ms. Dacres. I wish her other teachers were like you. I will let you know when she has learned all the valences.” she said.

She looks at her watch. “I have to go now; I have an appointment with someone soon.”

I walked her to the door.

“Bye, Dr. Brown. Thanks for coming.”