Only You Can Choose What You Want Your Life to Mean
- Jacquline Dacres
- May 4, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 27, 2023
Look within yourself for the answers.
I loved my 9–5 job even as I walked away from it.
I was one of those people who loved their teaching job. I loved seeing the growth and development of my students in their knowledge of Chemistry.
But after several years of teaching, I felt unfulfilled. I started feeling that there was something more that I should be doing with my life.
So, I started searching everywhere for the ‘something’ that I should be doing. I bought career books, and I scoured the internet. I found a few helpful pieces of information and many not-so-helpful information.
Then, I stumbled upon an article “How to Decide What You Want” by PJ Eby on his blog — Dirt Simple
It changed my thinking.
He wrote that many of us are waiting for life to give us meaning.
I took that statement to mean that we are waiting for someone or something to tell us what to do, what to choose, who to be, or what to do. Many of us are looking for someone to give us the steps on how to live our lives.
But according to PJ Eby:
“You see, it is not the purpose of life to provide us with meaning.Rather, it is our purpose to supply the meaning to life, by our actions.And what we choose is our meaning.In every moment that we live, we decide what the meaning is”.
Those lines stopped me in my tracks. For the first time, I had to come face to face with the truth that what I was looking for could only be found by looking within.
You see, it was easy to read books and articles for then I could claim that I was doing something and learning. But what was I really accomplishing — was I even getting closer to any of my long-term goals?
Instead, I should have been doing the more challenging thing; sitting still and getting to know myself.
Who am I and what do I want for me? No one could give me those answers. It had to come from me. Reading and learning were good, but I needed to get to know myself. And there is no book or course on learning about me. It’s me who is the author of that book.
Now don’t get me wrong. Books and the internet contain a wealth of valuable information. But that can only take us so far. We must embark on the road to self-discovery and use the available information as our guide.
For most of my life, I have given much of myself to others. I gave of myself to my family and my job that somewhere along the way, I lost the knowledge of who I am and what I wanted.
How could I possibly figure out what I wanted to do when I had no idea what I wanted? And what I wanted was entirely up to me to decide.
Seek meaning
Another insight that I got from the quote by PJ Eby is that rather than searching to find what to do with our life, we should instead seek out what we want our life to mean.
When you ask, “What should I do with my life”, you run the risk of telling yourself that what you want to do is either wrong or right.
And that is why many people remain stuck. They are afraid to choose because of the fear of making a wrong choice.
However, the meaning that you chose to give your life cannot be wrong or right.
It’s a personal and individual choice. And every day you are giving your life meaning by the actions you choose or do not choose.
We don’t get to not choose
The ability to choose is a gift we have all received at birth. You cannot give away this gift.
The reality is that not choosing is itself a choice. So, the best thing that you can do is use this gift intentionally and make choices that align with the meaning that you are giving your life.
Summary
No one can tell you what to do or who to be. It is you who must decide.
It is frightening but it is also thrilling.
Every day that you wake up, you get the chance to decide what you want your life to mean. Think about that.
The answers are all up to you.
Also, remember that the meaning that you give your life today may not be the same a few years from now. You grow and evolve.
So, decide what you want your life to mean. When you decide, choose to carry out the actions that will ensure that you are giving your life its meaning.
© Jacquline Dacres 2023. All Rights Reserved
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